hyperfocus!

After two weeks of mega procrastination and mounting anxiety, a "switch" finally flicked at the beginning of the week.

With just two days to meet a deadline, I managed to do two weeks work in two days. The stress evaporated, adrenaline kicked in and I was completely focused. For every obstacle (and there were lots) I found solutions. It felt like I was surf riding! I met my targets... and enjoyed the buzz

From my reading on ADD this is a not untypical pattern!!. It is certainly familiar to me. The number of times I have managed to pull a rabbit out of the hat at the last minute.... but such pain before... It is frustrating to know that I have this capacity for super flowing efficiency, yet can be utterly incapacitated with procrastination and overwhelm at other times.

The following is a typical sequence of steps for me:

1. Surfing: cruising along with multiple projects and thriving on the variety. BUT...
2. Cutting corners: things are going OK, but I am skimping on paperwork (filing, prioritising, organising etc ..the boring tasks!!!) . It is not just that I don't want to do it: it feels really hard to do. THEN
3. Procrastination: I start to procrastinate on random jobs. Some are tiny tasks, some are bigger decisions. Once I have procrastinated for more than 3 days, those tasks become harder to complete. THEN...
4. Overwhelm: I start to feel overwhelm and anxiety. Procrastination becomes greater and background anxiety increases. WITH THIS...
5. Avoidance: I start to focus on low priority jobs or start to hyperfocus on whole new creative ventures. Increased sense of pain. THEN...
6. Crunch: Abandon or Complete. I either abandon the project in hand (or rather put in on "back burner" - I rarely abandon things altogether) OR hyperfocus kicks in and I complete. There is a rush of energy, and I am on a creative roll. THEN....
7. Return: I am back cruising along again on multiple projects (number 1 on list)

I have done quite a lot of reading on ADD and have some insights into this pattern. I will explore this in my next post. What I would really like to learn is:

1. To be able get the important "boring" tasks done with ease and so preempt the overwhelm.
2. To unlock the key to hyperfocus, so that I can use it in short bursts when I need it, rather than for it to 'kick in' in a purely reactive way

I guess it is to do with recognising my strengths but having a greater sense of mastery

PS Still not sleeping! Full of adrenaline rather then anxiety perhaps! But I seem to be managing on it...